I had never thought of this idea until today but I think it would be perfect for someone like your best friend who does not want the "responsibility" or being an actual matron or maid-of-honor. This would be perfect for a friend of mine who hates being a bridesmaid but loves to still support her friends on their big days. She literally always tells her girl friends she does NOT want to be a bridesmaid. So there is a name for it! I guess...?
Some wedding venues actually call this role a bridal attendant and is included in wedding packages. Super cool and definitely an added perk when trying to decide between venues. Does not hurt to ask if that is actually an option in some wedding packages.
Back to this friend of mine. On her friends' special days... she still enjoys helping them a bit with their dress or just small things they may need...such as help with games at a baby shower or asking the bride if she needs any food if she has not had a break.
Personally; I would never call someone my personal attendant since I would not want to sound offensive. I am sure many people would not take offense but I honestly could not think of another way to word exactly what this role in a wedding could be named.
They are not a "day-of coordinator" you are paying. You will want to keep that in mind if you love this idea like I do. Therefore make sure you do not take advantage of these people wanting to be there for you if you are a bride. It is nice if they happen to offer help but when my friend does offer to help; usually I have it all under control. It is just still nice she asked and sometimes I suggest her bringing a great music playlist for the party theme....and she always delivers!
What I do to show my friend like this appreciation is spoil her with gifts and give her a tip. She should totally be an event planner but I think she is typically a woman who likes to do what she wants and at her own pace. Planning weddings can be super stressful for some planners. Nothing wrong with that; she is very free-spirited and does not want to commit to the big responsibility she feels it is to be a bridesmaid. She has been a bridesmaid already at so many weddings as she has a large family and friend group.
So why do I mention all of this? Maybe you have a great friend or teenager in your life who you absolutely adore but did not want bridesmaids or more than you already have. Perhaps you have that wonderful co-worker who throws the best office parties and wants to be included...yet you already have an event planner. Some people offer to help; but make sure genuinely enjoy their company and they are not going to be negative approaching your big day. This is totally an optional idea; as I said...I just heard of it today myself.
I remember when I was a teenager a family-friend was getting married and she already had more than six bridesmaids. She came up with other ways to include them in the wedding such as one helping with reminding guests to sign guest books or with adding junior bridesmaid roles in the wedding. I do not have a large friend and family group so I do not think I would have these issues. Maybe that is a good thing because so many people often want to be included in the bridal party.
A personal attendant may be a neat idea for women like me who have a guy best friend...that does not want to be apart of the "bridal party" or get so dressed-up. One of my best friends is a guy and I would trust them and have had them help me with party mishaps or help in the past. Once I planned a huge party and more people came by than expected; he lived close by and was able to pick up extra food without me leaving my guests.
Great friends are good to have...so if someone does help you on your special day; sending them a thank you card is always nice I feel. Even if you have thanked them in person; it is so hard to find great help for some. Therefore; I really appreciate nice people who want to be there for you even if you did not have a lot of money to offer them.
If you can not afford to add more people to a wedding guest list or the bridal party...do not. It is not okay to let someone control your budget or special day. These are simply fun ideas or just thoughts in case you are really wanting to add someone to your wedding...who wants to be apart of it.
In case you are really needing help with actual planning and coordinating your wedding; hire an event planner. Some event planning companies do not plan weddings but can point you in the right direction of someone they refer perhaps. You may have a friend on social media who is a dedicated wedding planner or does day of-coordination.
Until next time....
xoxo
De
